Sunday, November 14, 2010

Mean girl's

So, there is a lot of talk about bullying these day's. Bullying is a terrible feeling. I have been bullied as a child and sadly a few times as an adult in the work place. I have made an effort to talk to my children about bullying.  I realize it most likely will happen at some point in their lives.  I can honestly say early experiences of bullying have shaped me in to who I am today.  I developed unnecessary fears, a poor self image, self doubt, and low self esteem due to bullying.  I have thought of several of the instances over the years, however, couldn't put my finger on it until recently.  I was bullied.

 As a mother of 2 girl's I pray that they NEVER have to endure some of the situations I encountered.  One specific example would be in 7th grade.  I was new to a school.  A small Christian school at that. Perfect target. My only friend's when starting there were boy's. Not good. The girl's at this school had attended for several years and already had their groups established. I was not about to be included. It was quite obvious.  I can remember purposely not being invited to a birthday party that pretty much every other girl was invited to.  To make matter's worse several mom's found out and attempted to include me.  At this point I was not about to attend.  Although they had good intentions I knew it was out of pity.  Needless to say I stopped attending that school by Christmas, and eventually moved back to my home state of California to finish middle school.  Long story short we returned in 9th grade.  Only with God on my side did I have the courage to go back to the same school, with the same girl's.  I was blessed with a new friend on the first day and we became inseparable for the rest of our high school year's.  The same girl's were actually nicer, more mature, and more accepting.  I often wonder if they had/have any idea how that impacted me?  For years I doubted and avoided relationships due to this one experience.  Praise God I finally believed that others were including me because they actually DID want me there, it was not just out of pity.

As I have matured I have learned that these experiences have shaped me in to who I am, even though it was "the end of the world" while I was going through it. I also know it broke my mother's heart! I am dreading these days for my daughter's, and of course my son.  To my surprise he has mostly mentioned a girl that he thinks is a bully... even to the boy's.  I have also tried to make sure he is not the one bullying.

I believe that some people may be getting irritated with all the talk and media coverage regarding bullying.  I believe it is necessary and so important. It's about time!!!

Mostly what I am trying to convey is that we as parents should be probing and making sure our children are not being bullied.  If we feel like they might be it is important not to minimize it.  I promise it can have long lasting effects.

7 comments:

Kayla said...

Great post.

Wa Wa Waughs said...

You are so right, Michelle! I'm sorry that happened to you. I had low self-esteem as a teenager too, but not because of bullying. Guess that shows us how tender those years are! I hope my daughter didn't feel that way - I tried really hard to develop her talents and help her look her best to combat that.

Dawn said...

Nicely written. I agree.

My almost 13 year old's best friend tends to bully her through texts. I think I've finally put a stop to it. I told Courtney to tell her that I read all her texts and the next time I see one that's not kind I'm calling her mother. (Who happens to be a very good friend of mine.)

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